This could be deep.

I am sitting here quietly reflecting on the fact that September is nearing its end. This year has been REALLY busy for me and my family. I've found over recent months there has been no 'spare time' to do whatever I'd 'like' to do, only seem to have enough hours in a day to do 'what's needed'.

I've had another birthday, obviously, and yet birthdays and getting older still don't bother me. I'm 'one of those people' who can ALWAYS look back and think of all the achievements I've made in my life, even through tough times. I know I've not had a tougher time than some people, but I might have faced more challenges than others. I know I'm loved by family and friends and I strive hard to keep the people I love 'close' and not 'push them away'; which, if everyone is honest, can be so easily done when you're having a bad day.

I'm a 'creative' person, I love trying new things out, I've surprised myself, and others, at what I can turn my hand to. Just recently I've made jam for the first time, ever. Might not sound much to some people, or rather old fashioned to others, however there's always a great satisfaction to learning a new skill, especially when it has a tasty outcome. I've been 'blackberrying' for the first time this year since I was a child, I enjoyed every minute of it. Yes, I came home with scratches on my hands and up my arms from those pesky thorns, snagged my clothing numerous times and had to battle a few spiders and creepy crawlies along the way, but it was fun. In total I've picked about 4.5Kg of blackberries and have at least half that frozen for use over the coming months. And where I picked my blackberries there were loads left for the wildlife too.

I've rediscovered the 'joy of driving along country roads through open fields'. My trip to go food shopping now is so lovely. Driving through some villages and down these country roads with fields either side. Doesn't seem to matter to me if it's sunny or not, it's just lovely. I've driven them with music blaring from the radio and with peace and quiet in the car and just my thoughts for company.

I've felt, as a mum, I've possibly not spent enough time doing things with my children, however they seem happy and we sit and talk at the dinner table every evening. They are doing well in school and we are able to walk to school, which is the first time since they started school I've been able to do the 'school run' on foot, and I'm quite enjoying that too. When we do get a chance we battle it out at 'Just Dance 1 & 2' on the Wii. Or they whip my butt on Wii Party, but we do have fun. We want the kids to get interested in music. I was one of those kids at school who got 'passed over' by my music teacher as I wasn't 'naturally talented'. However in my adult years I've learned to play the saxophone (although I'm really rusty at the moment but hope to find time again soon to take it up again) and I'm trying to teach myself the piano, a bit. I've got some books to work from and when I have a moment I sit down and have a tinkle on the irovies.

I've not had much time to 'discover' new music lately, which for me is a bit sad, I love music, love listening to it, have such a wide range of taste, it almost becomes like therapy for me and I choose music by my moods. I'll go through phases of different music. Some days I might listen to Prodigy/Pendulum or some heavier rock based music. Other days it'll be along the lines of Eliza Doolittle, Scouting for Girls or some other 'mainstream pop'. Then I'll have days when I'll have heard a piece of classical music on an advert or something and I get a taste for classical music again, or, as was the case the other day, I sat listening to some Doo-wop, played several of Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. I've now, since seeing Buddy the Musical, discovered more Buddy Holly songs I love, I'd never heard 'Brown Eyed Handsome Man' and now I'm addicted to it, brilliant song. Then I'll have times when I want something a bit 'different' so I'll sit listening to Jonsi or maybe a bit of Riverdance, maybe Loreena McKennitt. Other times I just like to hear nicely played guitar or piano, someone who really plays it well. I've grown more appreicative of music lately, it helps to calm me, show my mood, let me decompress. We all need to sit back and chill occasionally and whether you're into pop, jazz, country, classical, rock n roll, heavy metal, drum and bass or whatever you're into, it help to make you chill out and go into your own zone, its almost like therapy.

I wonder what the coming months will have in store, will I get any free time to do anything I want to do? Will the kids continue to do well? Will I stop waffling on about stuff that's unimportant, will I stop stressing about the small stuff? Whatever happens in the near future, I aim to handle it with as much dignity and grace as I can muster, whatever the situation (however good, bad, embarrassing or dire) and hopefully learn from it. If you must make mistakes, learn from them, don't do your utmost to repeat them. Live for today and don't go to bed angry, remember to tell the people you love that you do love them. And hugs, so important, and free too.

Come on life, bring it on, but please be kind :o)